My Love is my  Strength
My Self-Respect and Courage is my Protection
         My Ability to Heal is my Empowerment
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Susan Ashley

Spiritual consultant, author and healer

Relationships 2

Now we would to discuss another question that comes up all the time “What about this relationship?

 

I went to this clairvoyant, this psychic, this reading, you told me, everyone has told me, I have this relationship, but it hasn't happened! Why hasn't it happened?” Well, there could be many reasons why it hasn't happened. But one of the main reasons to understand is that God hasn’t stopped it from happening. The universe didn’t deny it to you.

 

A lot of you think, "What have I done? I’ve been good.” We’ve heard this, “I’ve been good. I’ve done everything well. I’m nice to everyone. I’m always the person who cares for everyone. I’m responsible. I don’t have debts. Why? Why aren’t you giving me this? Why isn’t it coming to me?” Tears, the desperation that comes from this pain… We are not in control of it. You are. If it is not coming to you, go within yourself and ask yourself, or sick out help from others. What is it in me that is blocking this? Do I have a wall around my heart from previous relationships? Do I have a wall around my heart from friendships from when I was young, or from interactions with siblings or family members? Do I have a strong disconnection at the crown chakra?

 

Now, this is very interesting, because a lot of individuals that were brought up in very strong communities, either religious communities or political communities, very strong communities that sort of govern over you, that give you a list of rules to live by. They will often be disconnected from the divine. They would be disconnected from God, because they feel that power that God has is so much greater than theirs, that they are not worthy of it. They’re not worthy of a divine connection.

 

If you’re in a religion, it is a priest or an imam or someone else that talks to God on your behalf and then tells you what to do. So you, you’re not worthy of a divine connection with God, of a true connection with God. If you’re in a very strong political structure, that would also tell you the government has control, the government is the power. “We tell you how to dress, how to talk, what career you should have, where you’re meant to live, where you can and cannot go, what food you can purchase.” It can get very fundamental.

 

So you disconnect. We don’t disconnect from you. God does not disconnect from you. You disconnect from God, because you believe that that higher power is something that has control over you. Somewhere in your crown chakra you have a belief or a wow or a limitation that says, “God isn’t going to give that to me. No one can help me. I’m not worthy.” And you may have things in your lower chakras - they seem to be the most entangled. But a lot of you have them in the crown chakra and you don’t realize it. And then you blame… You blame your political structure, you blame your parents, you blame your teachers, you blame your friends, you blame the society, you blame your religion. “Oh, it's all of these reasons that I can't have what it is that I want.” No, it's you that is stopping it.

 

You create your own reality. So go within, search yourself. Ask yourself what am afraid of? Many of you have this utopian concept of what a relationship is, particularly those that haven’t been in a relationship for a long time. Or have relationships that don’t last for a long time. So you have this idealism, “Oh, he's perfect. She is beautiful. She's intelligent. Oh, he's so masculine, he's going to take care of me, all my problems will go away...” All of these things you’re wanting… You’re wanting from this partner to fulfill something in you that feels empty. The truth is, as you are aware, no one else can fill that for you.

 

The other thing is that those that are in relationships understand that it's not utopia - it's not easy. It requires you to confront yourself to be your best self.

 

We described before about karmic relationships, soul-mates and soul-partners. We’ve already described that. We’re saying to you, most of you now will go into a soul-mate or soul-partner relationships, karmic relationships you’re moving away from. So we won't even mention those.

 

When you’re in a soul-mate relationship, it doesn’t mean that other person is so perfect that they never forget to call you, that they never are late, that they always pick up their clothes of the floor, that they always acknowledge how beautiful you look, that they never forget a special occasion... It doesn’t come with that absolute.

 

And it doesn’t mean that you’re not going to feel frightened to commit. That your little niggly fears of the past aren’t going to come up. They are going to come up.

 

What it is though? It’s that the love is greater than the pain, which moves you. It forces you to release you from your pain. So these relationships show you what you most need to heal. They mirror it to you. And perhaps because you have this utopian view of what a relationship should be, you are blocking it. Part of you is fearful; you don’t want to do the work. You don’t want to face it. You don’t want that person to see the real you, how you really are. There is always something in you that is pushing it away.

 

We have had individuals with an absolute soul-mate relationship in their auric field, so close that person is probably living right next door and they never see them. And they’re crying and complaining and being sad and angry, because they’re swinging from one thing to another. And all of these things are going on in their minds and they’re constantly saying, “God isn’t letting this happen. Why isn’t the universe letting this happen?”

 

Go to your crown chakra. It has got nothing to do with God. Sometimes you can live in a street and you walk down that street every day for two or three years and one day some shift happens in you. You don’t know what, but a shift happens and you look up and you see this house and you say, “I never saw that house before. It's so beautiful. I didn’t even know it was in this street.”

 

It's the same with soul-mates. You walk past them all the time and you don’t see them. And you don’t see them, because you’re creating your own reality, each and every one of you. And in your reality they don’t exist. “I’ve tried so hard, it doesn’t happen. I’m doing everything right and it's still not here.” It's not here, you can’t see it.

 

Your third eye reflects and co-creates the reality that you believe in. That’s why 2, 3, 4 people can see the same accident and each one of them will tell us different story. Because their vision sees something different, because of their beliefs.

 

If you’re having a hard time pulling this relationship into your life, work on it, work on it, work on it. Or what you can do is, you can simply go into your heart like we were talking about earlier, find peace, feel that unity to everything. And it will come.